In a jam… or rather the marmalade

Lord Norton

Lord Henley

I am always impressed by the versatility of some of my colleagues.  I have previously mentioned Lord McColl, who spends his summers performing surgery on Mercy Ships off the coast of West Africa, and Lord Forsyth, who has just climbed Mount Vinson.   Another peer builds and flies his own aircraft.  (Single-seater ones, that is.)   Lord MacGregor of Pulham Market is a member of the Magic Circle.  Now Lord Henley, an Environment minister, has won first prize at the World Marmalade Awards for his homemade marmalade.  The recipe will be used by professional producers.  We have Earl Grey tea and the Earl of Sandwich gave us the sandwich, so we may now as well have Lord Henley marmalade.  

I suspect other colleagues have a range of hidden talents.

18 comments for “In a jam… or rather the marmalade

  1. Twm O'r Nant
    15/02/2011 at 10:04 am

    Is this advertising?

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      17/02/2011 at 3:24 pm

      Twm O’r Nant: Lord Henley has expressed his gratitude for the post on the blog, but I fear it has not been followed by a jar of the said marmalade.

  2. Lord Blagger
    15/02/2011 at 11:18 am

    Marmalade manufactures – yes.

    Hair dressers – no

    Diverse range of skills representative of society? Not one iota of truth.

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      16/02/2011 at 9:39 pm

      Lord Blagger: There’s nothing to stop a hairdresser putting their name forward, or someone else putting their name forward, to the House of Lords Appointments Commission.

      • Lord Blagger
        16/02/2011 at 11:02 pm

        So what?

        It’s the gift of the PM.

        Why don’t you address the question?

        You claim wide spread skills as one of the reasons for the existence of the Lords.

        Hairdressers (and barbers) are a significant part of the working population.

        However, home marmalade making is more important.

        Or brown nosing the PM being the most significant skill.

        Second being kicked out by the electorate who have expressed their view that they don’t want that person representing them.

        So what does the elite do?

        That’s it, in the Lords so they can carry on dictating against the wishes of the electorate.

        Very Marie Antoinette.

        • Lord Norton
          Lord Norton
          17/02/2011 at 12:58 pm

          Lord Blagger: The nominations made by the Appointments Commission over the past decade have been independent of the PM. Meg Russell has done a study of the spread of peers’ backgrounds and expertise. The Appointments Commission is aware of areas where the House could be strengthened. When Lord Jay, who chairs the Commission, appeared before the Constitution Committee yesterday, he confirmed – in answer to a question from me – that the Commission was considering whether to adopt a proactive role (identifying people who could fill any gaps) rather than a reactive one, waiting for nominations in fields where it felt it desirable to make appointments.

          The House of Lords cannot dictate against the wishes of the electorate. I appreciate you live in another country, but your comments suggest you also live in another age – i.e. pre-1911.

  3. ladytizzy
    15/02/2011 at 5:50 pm

    There are a few more foodie pairings in the HoL. For example, Lords Brown and Sugar but if Lord Baker and Baroness Miller got together, would they produce little buns? What sends Lords Jacobs and Carr crackers? What do Lords Currie and Rogan josh about? Do either of the Lords Walker and Crisp have a six-pack?

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      16/02/2011 at 9:39 pm

      ladytizzy: Very good. 🙂

  4. Carl.H
    15/02/2011 at 6:58 pm

    Well Lord Feldman (perhaps a relative of Mary Feldman) is an hysterical comedian. Suggesting no public funds for parties but a 25p claim from the Treasury for every pound given, “Gift Aid”.

    I don’t know how Dave will feel about becoming a charity case, I do know that I feel 25p for every pound from the treasury is public funds !

    A £50k limit would suit the tories, they’d use the old boy network or different companies they have their fingers in to get around the ruling without breaking it.

  5. Carl.H
    15/02/2011 at 7:07 pm

    Should read Marty Feldman

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      16/02/2011 at 9:40 pm

      Carl.H: You have just answered a query I was about to put…

    16/02/2011 at 6:44 am

    Apparnelty. By the way, I have a nice new Pastry Busienss, want to buy?

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      17/02/2011 at 6:44 pm

      Zarove: Have you won any prizes?

  7. Twm O'r Nant
    16/02/2011 at 3:18 pm

    Good thing there are no Bunyanesque allegorical surnames in Parliament, or it would get interesting and that would never do.

    My noble Lord Kindness, please will you do me a favour?

    or Baron Gentility chuck me the condiments will you please?(in the tea bar).

    There would be infinite play by the noble Lords themselves on their own names or those of others.

    Lord Noggin : Heaven forbid!
    Lord Heaven: I’ve got nothing against it!

    • Lord Norton
      Lord Norton
      17/02/2011 at 6:43 pm

      Twm O’r Nant: I have been known to respond when someone has said ‘Good Lord’.

    19/02/2011 at 10:16 pm

    Lord Norton-

    Zarove: Have you won any prizes?

    In my lifetime a few, but want to win the lotto one day.

    Perhaps one day…

    22/02/2011 at 8:59 pm

    Lord Norton, that reminds me of a Lawyer Joke.

    A dying man, half blind and near death, prays for relief. He knows his time draws near, and he makes his soul ready. while in deep prayer and reflection, a Lawyer enters the room. He has come to settle the mans estate and finalise his will.

    He nudges the man, who says “Lord God, is that you?”

    The Lawyer smirks and says “No, I’m not God. But I’m someone who right now is more helpful and important. I’m a Lawyer”

    The man turned back round and said “Dear God, please bring me to thy Salvation, for Satan is already here for my Soul!”

  10. MilesJSD
    23/02/2011 at 5:22 pm

    Lord Norton suspects that “other colleagues have a range of hidden talents”.

    Such as Morton, with his super-productive “fork” ?


Comments are closed.