On Tuesday 13th October, The Grand Committee Room, the largest one in the House of Commons, was packed for a meeting jointly arranged by the All-Party Group on Conflict Issues and the Forgiveness Project. It was sensitively chaired by Simon Hughes, MP for Bermondsey.
Two speakers reflected on where they and we now are, 25 years after the IRA bombing of the Conservative Conference at Brighton. These were Patrick Magee, an IRA member, who was convicted for his part in the terror attack, but later released from prison under the terms of the Belfast Agreement, and Jo Berry, who is the daughter of Sir Anthony Berry MP, the Conservative Deputy Chief Whip, who was among those killed by the bomb. This unlikely pair have known one another for many years now and have told their stories of mutual respect and reconciliation on many public platforms.
The background to the meeting was a sensitive one. Some of those harmed by the bombing were invited but refused to come, saying that it might justify murder. The atmosphere was quite emotional, but reflected the convictions of those who believe in the power of forgiveness to produce changes in behaviour and thus to contribute to a more harmonious world.
Marina Cantacuzino, the Director of the Forgiveness Project also spoke. Her project works in prisons and schools, exploring ordinary people’s potential for empathy, reconciliation and alternatives to crime and revenge. Among their international stars are Linda Biehl, killed in South Africa in 1993 and Katy Hutchinson, whose husband was murdered in 1997. The Forgiveness website is www.theforgivenessproject.com
I was pleased to have been at the meeting, following work with the Forgiveness and Politics project, and some experiences with Restorative Justice in England and Northern Ireland.
I don’t understand.
How can someone commit something so terrible, and then, years later, expect that saying sorry will make it all better? Sorry is what we are taught to say at a young age, but sorry itself seems to be childish here. To harm another person in such a way that their lives are destroyed, and then expect that an apology will fix (most of) it, seems to be childish in the extreme.
I have to say this, isn’t it better to hate?
Now, I wasn’t born at the time of the bombing, but I do understand that Magee wanted to kill people, not just kill, either; but to decapitate government, spread terror in the country and cause as much damage as possible. Why anyone would want to forgive this man, I do not know.
Forgiving him is not simply about accepting an apology, it will also redeem him as well. Any redemption should have come twenty-five years ago, long before he tore apart peoples lives with a thoughtless act.
Thanks for your response. It’s possible that you are being a little judgemental. I believe that Joanna’s forgiveness has had an effect on Patrick. It came from Christian and human motives. It has changed him and possibly affected others. He may not het have experienced full Christian repentance and conversion, but he has moved a long way and perhaps has had to endure some flak.
Best wishes
Lord Hylton,
I was privileged to do a very little work with the Ulster Project in that region of Louisiana which natives call Acadiana. This group takes young Protestant and Catholic Christians from Northern Ireland and brings them here where everyone notices thier similarities and where Catholics and Protestants mostly get on well. I think it is a powerful force for reconciliation and very much in the spirit of Jesus.
However, I think withadults who have been engaged in serious harm it is just as vital that the programs be very serrious as that they be available. The forgivesneess Jesus taught dealt with issues of restitution, authority, complex variance and was in every way sophisticated. I can only hope this project is also on that order. I have seen some that are not and they seem to me literaly to be blasphemous — I am old fashioned enough that such words sincere and apt in my mouth or from my keyboard.
Thanks for your response. The kind of project you mention can be ery good. Corrymeela have done hundreds of such encounters. The hard part is will the participants apply their new insights, once they return to their home, or work situation. I think my two friends are doing their best in their particular circumstances.
Troika, hatred is an all consuming fire which destorys us in th end. It is better to forgive.
True repentance is not simply sayin g”I’m sorry”, its about actual remorse and truly turning form your past, recognition it as evil, and publicly repudiating those acts, striving to be better. Forgiveness is not simply accepting an apology, it is about letting go of the anger, resentment, and hatred that prevents us from truly healing.
While such an apology won’t make the dead live again, and won’t undo the harm, it does end the cycle of hatred and vengeance that is perpetuated by continuing an unnecessary conflict, and allows us instead to unite as Brothers and sisters, to build a new future from the ashes of the old.
Asking us to hate the man is in my view much more dangerous. Why should I fill my heart with hatred for another? Why should this man, as vile as his actions were, be seen as anything other than a man? All men have worked evil, we have all sinned. He is no different in this way. However, the cause for his actions, and his new attiude, certainly speak to us now, and I woudl argue that it woudl show a higher state of mind to forgive him.
I knwo you are one of the Dawkins following Athiests, so this will fall on Deaf Ears, but I think of Christ on the Cross. He was an innocentman, who suffered form a mock trial, was found guilty, tortured, publically humiliated, and sentenced to death. He was made to face the Roman Scourge, and to drag his Cross beam thouhg the streets of Jerusalem. He was hten nailed to the Cross, spat upon, mocked, and tormented.
His reaction?
He forgave those who so persecuted him. This did not mean what they did was good, it merely meant they had been forgiven.
It also freed Christ of any obligation to hate them. Just as our forgiveness ultimately free’s us. Hatred is a binding chain, which controls us. If we give ourselves over to hatred, we also subject ourselves to it. We will be compelled to continually bring up his past deeds, always being reminded of them. We will be forced to continually curse him, and in the end we will stand divided between those who take his side and those who take ours, never moving forward, always remembering the past, always at each others throats.
Forgiveness gives us the opportunity to let go of all that, and let go of the sorrow, the pain, the suffering, which cannot itself be laid to rest without resolution, and we have only two resolutions available: Vengeance or forgiveness. Vengeance will beget only more violence, whilst Forgiveness begets the promise of a better world in which we cooperate to build a brighter tomorrow.
Hatred, as I said, is a prison. It binds us to that which we hate, divides us one form another, and hinders real healing and progress. It makes manifest before us all that ever went wrong in our lives or evils worked upon us, and never let us move past it. It consumes us. It destroys us.
We will never find true peace by hatred, nor will contempt ever lead us to happiness.
If you can’t understand this I feel sorry for you.
Thank you for your response. I don’t know why you should think I must be an atheist. I am in facat an English Catholic and very much agree with you. I was for some years involved in the Forgiveness and Politics project, which Brian Frost has wirtten up. I encousge you to spread your message as widely as possible.
I actually wrote that to Troika, Your Lordship, and meant no disregard to you. I merely responded to his claim that it is better to hate. This I will never accept.