Speedy Lords

 

Last August I was taking my son and his friends to the airport. It was 3am and there was excited talk about their trip round Europe. My attention was not as it should be and the speedo went up to 36mph. FLASH! **##>*# Did I deserve this at 3am on an empty road? Well yes, actually speeding kills as we legislators keep pointing out!

 

Some weeks later I received the call. Both a fine and three points on my licence or pay slightly more than the fine and go on a speed awareness course with no points.

 

So yesterday I reported to the training centre along with about twenty other sheepish looking individuals. Now it’s situations like this where I usually get recognised especially in the area where I was recently the MP.

 

I expected the locals to be waiting with a tumbrel and joyful shouts of “We got him!” “One Lord for every lamp post!” As an abolitionist MP always shouts when he sees me!

 

I sat at the back of the class trying not to be noticed but when it came to the questions on the national speed limits on the four different types of roads I was the only one to get them all right. “Take a bow said the tutor” “Yikes” said I trying to get under the desk. A round of applause was my reward and a few suspicious looks. (If you want to test your knowledge here’s the question: What is the national speed limit for the following four roads where there is no speed limit indicated; urban roads; rural single carriageway; dual carriageway; motorway? – no cheating by looking it up!)

 

I actually enjoyed the course. No I did not come out as a class one advanced driver – just boring old average I’m afraid. I did get good marks for keeping my distance and for being a relaxed driver who doesn’t shout abuse at others (just speed cameras and kids in cars!). I was slightly slower than average on hazard awareness. That’s a bit worrying for a politician!

 

We were shown the picture of the accident where a youngster gets killed by a car at 39mph whereas at 30mph he would probably have survived. Remember the majority of serious accidents and deaths take place on urban and rural roads. The child on a bike or running out from a house or between cars is a nightmare for all of us.

 

I not only found the course useful but also enjoyable the woman taking the class had a really nice manner but also very clear and focussed. I asked if people could take it without having a speeding offence. You can’t but they do offer other courses: http://www.drivetech.co.uk/driveraware/

 

Of course it really shouldn’t have been me there – it should have been my son and his mates! And their punishments for making me get up at 3am and get booked? Well, next time I’m going to make them walk in front of me holding a red flag!